We have Core time with our homeroom students — mine are 8th graders — for 30 minutes at the end of each day. Core is our SSR (sustained silent reading) time, though ELD students are in their ELD classes during this block.
Once a month, however, we use Core time for a Community Circle (CC).
This is our first year implementing it, but because my students have been genuinely engaged, we now hold CC nearly every Friday.
I usually pick one or two questions or topics for us to go around and share. Light-hearted questions like, “If you could be any animal, what would it be, and why?” or “What’s your favorite food?” — those are easy, fun.
But if the topic goes any deeper than that... I’m pretty much a wreck.
I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.
I’ve cried talking about my father.
About my son, Gabriel.
About the time I ran away from home.
I get choked up at workshops just talking about a student.
Last week, our school invited Kaiser Permanente to perform Someone Like Me, a play about adolescent bullying and awareness. One of the characters had written in her diary that she wanted to kill herself.
The thought that any of my students could ever feel that way — it wrecks me. My heart aches, my chest tightens, my head throbs.
After the assembly, we were supposed to hold a Community Circle in our classrooms. I couldn’t even talk. Thankfully, my colleague was there and took over facilitating the discussion.
I try not to think about what my students say at home. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it goes something like:
“Jesus, Dad, Ms. Win cried again in Community Circle today. And we were just talking about Jell-O.”
Oh my God, that reminds me — at a continuation ceremony one year, a student introduced me to her dad with:
“Dad, this is Ms. Win. She cried just the other day because she was afraid we girls would get pregnant.”
Seriously. I signed up to teach math.
What is all this crying bullshit?
I want to be a badass teacher.
And badass teachers don’t cry, for Pete’s sake!
But there’s still hope for me.
Because one of my student’s moms tweeted this:
